Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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