There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
