The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
