my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize