I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
