You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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