Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
smell my finger.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
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