3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
