Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
