I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
