so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
