guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
