Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Non-Jews are for practice
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
