This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
