i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
All I want is dick and wine.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
