Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
