This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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