Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
