so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
