guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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