his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Im just a social blackout drinker.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Randomize
