It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
