Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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