all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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