We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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