Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
