Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he was CRYING into my vagina
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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