I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
