If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'd cum for enchiladas.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
