Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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