11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
