So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
she looked like the before picture.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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