I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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