16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
