i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
