the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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