Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
