So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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