Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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