In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
