Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
