is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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