angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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