Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
