she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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