Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
