Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
