Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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