I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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