all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
